Your Restroom Hummer Emporium

I have been to said bar, my guess would be, at least a 1,000 times. Over the times I have attended the bar in question, I have been present for only one bathroom related oral sex story. I don't know why I am so surprised to know that this is the only one, but knowing the vibe this place used to put it out it is.

There is a stupid occasion in NYC called Santa-Con. During this celebration people dress up as Santa Claus or other Christmas-related regalia. I have yet to see anyone dressed as a Menorah or Dreidel. Which leads me to the conclusion that drunk preppies are a bunch of Anti-Semites (Note: I don't believe this I just thought it was funny to type.) So this takes place at Santa-Con, and this is important because it would be a bajillion times weirder, which is not to say it's not crazy as is.

So I am there and having a few drinks as I am wont to do. As is likely to happen when one is imbibing copious amounts of liquor, I need to use the restroom. Stirring narrative, I know, stay tuned it's going to get really interesting next sentence. So, I walk to the bathroom at the back of the bar. Okay, not that sentence. I try to open the door to the men's room and it's not opening. I push hard still no movement. I know this door doesn't have a lock, because I have been in this bathroom no fewer than 200 times. So I drop my shoulder and the door comes open, I look up to see a dude stumbling backwards. The man is dressed as Santa, also his penis is out. I then look down to see a girl dressed as an elf on her knees. In summation: You may have caught mommy kissing Santa Claus but I totally walked in on an elf blowing him.

So there you go, don't say I don't deliver what I promise. I told you I would tie this story back to the theme and I did it. Also, I want to say, that is pretty gross. If that's all you take away from this blog in the entirety of it's existence it's that.

Signed,

J. Ro: Man of his word, disapprover of public restroom, holiday-themed, fellatio.